You're gonna miss this.

We were on a roll. I had the best behaved baby of all time until...

Luca decided sleeping through the night wasn't for him anymore.

He wakes up at least twice in the middle of the night where I find myself begging for him to self-soothe. Miles and I are losing our minds. We're walking zombies for the actual duration of time we can keep our eyes open during the day. It's too bad I'm not currently drinking caffeine because I am in desperate, desolate need for some energy. ay ay ay.

I'm hoping this is some sort of growth spurt or time change/weather fluctuation issue we can resolve very soon. So I pray.

 Ever since he was born, Luca has always surpassed the "standard" feeding measurements. When they said he should be taking in 2-3 oz he was gulping down 4-5 oz, and now this kid takes down 9oz bottles every 3 hours like it's no ones business. We even started adding rice cereal to his bottle to give him a little more substance, but it seems now he's more ravenous than ever.

If you have ANY suggestions, please do comment and share. Something has gotta give.

I'm so tired that even when I do fall into shitty 1/2 hour intervals of sleep throughout the night I have crazy dreams that have my heart racing a hundred miles an hour. Just last night I dreamt that I had actually been pregnant with twins when I was pregnant with Luca and somehow they forgot to deliver the second baby. So I went into labor out of the blue (just what you want to re-live right??) and even more tragic, I got a shotty epidural that did absolutely nothing and I was gonna have to deliver this 3 month past due baby all natural. I was crying in my sleep, and all I kept thinking was how I was going to have two babies to be up all night with. What a nightmare. 

This morning I was on the phone with the nurse seeing what more I could do. She sadly told me that some baby's don't really get a good "sleeping though the night" habit going until six months. As I took in this devastating news, my phone dies. I finally get reconnected, and by now Luca is tired and fussing on my hip while I'm holding the phone with my shoulder trying to lean in to where my cell phone is connected to the ridiculously short charging cord while at the same time trying to hold Luca's paci in his mouth with my other hand. As I'm finally getting some concrete advice as to things I can try with his feeding schedule, Luca spits up all down my shirt. I can feel the warm curdled milk slowly dripping down to my pant line, and just as I think things can't get any more hectic, the doorbell rings. I quickly cut the call short, and realize it's my boss at the door. I forgot he told me he'd be coming to pick up some paperwork. I'm covered in throw up, Luca is screaming in my ear, and I'm trying to hold back the enormous flood of tears about to stream down my cheeks. I answer the door, apologize for looking like a train-wreck, and handle my business. Once he leaves, Luca and I cry our eyes out together for a good five minutes. Luca falls asleep, of course he is exhausted from being up all night long. And the only word that comes to mind in that moment is 'overwhelming.' Motherhood can be completely overwhelming sometimes, and no one ever tells you that. Well I'll tell you, sometimes you feel like you're going to go insane. It helps to have a good cry every once in a while,  I always feel better after I do, and as crazy and unpredictable as all of this feels at times, just remind yourself "you wanted this," and think things like "you'll be begging for puke when he turns sixteen."

 Everyone has told me, this too will pass, and as they grow they give more and more back than you ever thought humanly possible. And so it goes. Already I've been given so much back. The pure love they give you is more than enough. And I know it goes by fast. This chaotic time is merely a speed bump in the big scheme of things. Already Luca has grown so much from when we first brought him home. He has hit more than a handful of milestones, and we keep trekking on. 

So when the going gets a little rough and the waters are a bit choppy, I just quote Trace Adkins. "You're gonna miss this. You're gonna want this back. You're gonna wish these days hadn't gone by so fast. These are some good times, so take a good look around, you may not know it now, but you're gonna miss this."

I'm glad I live in a world where there are Octobers

 In recent times we've dedicated Sundays to tying up loose ends from the week and ordering sushi take-out, so much so that we've dubbed sundays "sushi sundays." Once you have an infant you develop a whole new appreciation for phrases like 'take-out' and 'ordering in,' and you begin asking questions such as "why is room service only offered in hotels?" Anyhow, we sit on the floor in true Japanese style and eat at the coffee table. Miles uses chopsticks and I use my fingers because I have absolutely no chopstick coordination. Absolutely none whatsoever. I only use chopsticks when I have one of those plastic chopstick cheater things they give to kids that turn chopsticks into tweezers. Sad, I know. I usually get super excited when I realize it's sushi sunday, but for some reason I was over it this week. 

  This past Sunday brought with it a chill in the air so I decided we'd do 'soup sundays' instead of sushi, and I cooked up a pot of homemade butternut squash soup in true fall fashion. The soup was overly delicious. I'd go so far as to say it was on the same delicious level as Nordstrom's tomato soup which is basically like calling myself Wolfgang Puck. You can find the recipe I used here. I spiced things up a bit further by adding to each bowl a tablespoon of heavy cream and a dash of cinnamon. As an added bonus, making this soup allowed me to successfully check off my first completed task on my fall bucket list. Double win! or should I say BAM! Oh wait, that's Emeril Legasse...

Luca is 12 weeks old today! His personality is just blossoming day by day and he's on the verge of laughing. He's soooo close! Right now he just does the silent crack up which cracks me up, and every once in a while he'll do the under his breath giggle which is flat out hilarious because it sounds like he's fake laughing. One of these days, very soon, he's going to let out the biggest belly laugh, I can just sense it. But one thing is for certain, this child loves to smile. I have one happy kid. Festive too, I might add. He takes after his mama.

He also loves his sleep. We go on daily walks around the bay, and every time we only make it about ten feet before he is out like a light. Put me in a stroller with the sound of the tide rolling in, fresh air in my face, and I'd be out too. It's a good thing Luca wont remember living here because anywhere we move from here on out is a total downgrade. It's also a shame he wont have recollections of it all because this place is so special and beautiful and these are some of the best times of my life. 

 I complain about being tired and having to stay up to feed the little guy, but truthfully I don't mind. He'll only be this small for such a short time and someday I'll long for the days when he was still small enough to cuddle on my chest. 

On a side note these are the most comfortable pajama leggings of all time. If I could wear them all day and everyday I would. Who am I kidding, I usually do. Just ask my husband.

I found this touch and feel book on amazon and had to scoop it up for Luca. The title alone sold me. I love sharing with him all the wonderful things that make fall the best season of all! And I love reading to him. I hope he grows to love reading as much as I do. I long for the day when he turns that first magical page...right now he eats books.

We started putting out a ton of fall decorations. Unfortunately, most of our decorations are in storage so next year we'll go all out. I know what you're thinking, "this isn't considered all out?!" 

One thing I've learned about having nearly everything I own in storage is that I get by just fine without all the 'stuff' I thought I needed. It's nice to know you aren't bound to 'things.' This holiday season I really want to concentrate on my relationships--being a better listener, a better friend, and really being present. The iPhone has really put a damper on face-to-face communication. It's one of those 'things' I am talking about being bound too. As great as it is, it is also really annoying. That turned into a side tangent, I'm just rambling now, but how adorable are these Martha Stewart pinwheels???

 and how cute is this baby boy in his bath tub?!

Tuesday Snoozeday, Hope you have a good one!