Life's most persistent and urgent question is, "what are you doing for others?"
-Martin Luther King Jr.
i know i've been away, but first let me start by saying this...
i recently took a trip to utah & this trip changed my entire life perspective. in a matter of three days i shed my skin and from my branch i grew a bud on the verge of blossoming. my spark became reignited & i for the first time in a long time i felt truly present. i felt a little light inside of me, that had been dim for so long, beaming. i learned so much...more than so much. so much that my brain would be pulsating & tired & screaming at me "i cannot retain anymore today! i'm on the verge of explosion! come back tomorrow." so then i would. i would sleep (oh my, sleep is so magical.) & i would wake, and the cycle would start over again. this went on for three days. how can i feel so different after three days? how can i revert back to the feeling where everything is new and captivating to me? how can i maintain that childlike sense of wonder? why can't i stay home with my son? what is stopping me? why do i feel so worried about what other people think of me? why don't i take my self seriously? why don't i give myself enough credit? why do i undermine my true passions & talents? why don't i feel happy about my current situation? why do i feel an overwhelming sense of guilt about going against my grain? why am i doing what society says i should be doing? why am i not doing what i want to be doing? these are the kind of questions i left with & they don't stop, they just keep coming.
i think the greatest lesson i took home with me from the conference was to stop wondering when i will feel like i have arrived. i will never feel that way. i heard some amazingly successful people speak, and although they spoke so differently and had different stories to tell in different ways, they were all were saying the same thing. you will never feel like you've arrived. and that's ok. that's not a bad thing, that is a great thing!
the goals i have now will turn into bigger goals and when i attain those, i'll have a new set of goals and so on & so forth. i have to stay hungry, i have to work hard at what i love, and if i believe in myself and i surround myself with people who believe in me, there is nothing or anyone who can stop me from accomplishing what i set out to achieve.
you are now at the stage in reading this where you're wondering if there were some type of drugs in my water source or if this was some peoples temple, jim jones "drink our kook-aid" ploy. nope. i wasn't brainwashed. well, let me reword that. i was brainwashed but only in the good brainwashing way you'd want to be brainwashed. I was brainwashed by things everyone should be brainwashed by such as doing right by yourself, doing good for others, and sharing & loving. then, we should, with all that loving & sharing, learn to take all that you've created & knead, bake, and cut it all into adorable bite sized cookies which are perfectly frosted & the goal is to pass them out & around everywhere you go to as many people around you to try & make their lives better & happier. and when they feel the love & they've been given the goodness, they'll hopefully pay it forward, and want to share it with someone else. and all in all, these concepts will live on & on & overall the world will become a better place. & isn't that what we all want?
i wasn't brainwashed, i was lost & then i was found. i was surrounded by people who so simply wanted to share & inspire & listen to everyone around them. they wanted to love you for you & they legitimately wanted to hear your story. and whilst you were telling your story, they werent thinking about what it was they wanted to say next, nor did they interject. they would nod, and really hear you. everyone gave hugs, and sometimes they cried, and we all laughed a lot & i loved that because to be able to emote is a wonderful thing. it's a gift. this event was a gift. it was a congregation of creative minds and the power was in the numbers. my wheels began to turn after a long while of sitting at a halt. this was my wd-40, this was my long awaited confirmation to myself that i need to keep writing. i need to keep blogging & creating & doing what i love all the while getting lost and found again & again. i need to keep yearning for my arrival even if i know i'll never get there.
i hope this made your day a little brighter
& i hope you get lost in something so wonderful you pray to god you never get found.
bon voyage,
you are now at the stage in reading this where you're wondering if there were some type of drugs in my water source or if this was some peoples temple, jim jones "drink our kook-aid" ploy. nope. i wasn't brainwashed. well, let me reword that. i was brainwashed but only in the good brainwashing way you'd want to be brainwashed. I was brainwashed by things everyone should be brainwashed by such as doing right by yourself, doing good for others, and sharing & loving. then, we should, with all that loving & sharing, learn to take all that you've created & knead, bake, and cut it all into adorable bite sized cookies which are perfectly frosted & the goal is to pass them out & around everywhere you go to as many people around you to try & make their lives better & happier. and when they feel the love & they've been given the goodness, they'll hopefully pay it forward, and want to share it with someone else. and all in all, these concepts will live on & on & overall the world will become a better place. & isn't that what we all want?
i wasn't brainwashed, i was lost & then i was found. i was surrounded by people who so simply wanted to share & inspire & listen to everyone around them. they wanted to love you for you & they legitimately wanted to hear your story. and whilst you were telling your story, they werent thinking about what it was they wanted to say next, nor did they interject. they would nod, and really hear you. everyone gave hugs, and sometimes they cried, and we all laughed a lot & i loved that because to be able to emote is a wonderful thing. it's a gift. this event was a gift. it was a congregation of creative minds and the power was in the numbers. my wheels began to turn after a long while of sitting at a halt. this was my wd-40, this was my long awaited confirmation to myself that i need to keep writing. i need to keep blogging & creating & doing what i love all the while getting lost and found again & again. i need to keep yearning for my arrival even if i know i'll never get there.
i hope this made your day a little brighter
& i hope you get lost in something so wonderful you pray to god you never get found.
bon voyage,
1 comment:
So very happy you had this fabulous opportunity. Cannot wait to see your growth and expansion. I am already in amazement at who you are now...Love you so very, very much and ever so Grateful you are family...much love to you, Sweet Chelsie, always xoxxo
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